After returning home from the hospital still reeling from Millie’s arrival I tried to remember everything I could, but at first my mind would not let me. My reality was too much to face and I was dealing with it in each moment. As the weeks went by my mind started to allow me to remember all the events in great detail. Here is raw account of what happened.
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
It was the second day past my due date. The day before, August 1st, was my due date. That day I remember talking to my belly telling Millie that today was her due date and that we were ready for her. Her clothes were washed, room set up and decorated (minus her wooden name sign), everything else in her room was ready. I asked her isn’t she ready to come see the light of day. We couldn’t wait to meet her face to face. This day August 2nd was a little different. I woke up not feeling my best. I was a little achy and my temperature was a little higher than normal. It wasn’t really bad and I was functioning, so I just assumed a normal day. Through a group chat with friends they were asking how I was feeling and I told them. With push and a conversation with my mom they agreed I should just go to the doctor to get checked out and not wait for my regularly scheduled OBGYN appointment the very next day. So I called the doctor and was seen later in the afternoon.
At the appointment an ultrasound was done and the doctor checked me and said that I was dilated to about a 3 and was having slight contractions at the moment and everything was fine and looked fine on ultrasound. She said that my temp was probably caused by hormonal changes and likely I would have Millie by the weekend if she had to guess. She even said we could head over to Labor and Delivery and see if they would take me, but I wanted to labor in the comfort of my own home before needing to go to the hospital. Currently, at that point I couldn’t really tell I was having contractions they must have been really light. However, I was just relieved because the following Tuesday was going to be induction day had she not come by then. I really did not want to be induced because it was such a long painful experience with my daughter Anna.
We left the appointment with the words “currently contracting” in our minds. I called my parents to let them know how the appointment went. They were already planning to come up from Houston to be with Anna while I was at the hospital for induction but with me “currently contracting” started to pack up and head this way that evening. They live 4 hours away in Houston by the way. From the doctor’s office we went out and picked up a great baby find from a lady I found on Facebook Marketplace, ate dinner as family, and then came home to make sure everything was good to go. If you know me, you know I am the best procrastinator, so that means we still needed to pack the hospital bag, and make monogrammed sleep gowns, and onesies for said hospital bag. Still not feeling any contractions, that is what I did. I got on my computer to design monograms and got them heat pressed on. By the time my parents arrived and the gowns were monogrammed it was really late, but I couldn’t just go straight to bed. I stayed up and ate chocolate ice cream, and watched some TV.
About hour and half into sleep I was awakened by strong contractions. I did the thing they tell you to do roll over and try to go back to sleep. Seven minutes later another, and then another, and then another. I woke up Jon snoring beside me and he was like “the doctor said just try to get some sleep”. In my head I thought he is right, this can’t be for real just try to sleep. Two contractions later and now 5 minutes apart I woke him up and said this is the real deal, you can sleep or you can get up and help me pack that hospital bag. Yep, the outfits I had finished were needing to finish drying in the dryer. As I run around the house shoving everything in the hospital bag while trying not to wake Anna, yet in pain from these really strong contractions my mom wakes up and laughs because I don’t have the bags packed yet. She asks if there is anything she could do to help and jokingly I said you can take me out back and put me out of this miserable pain. Seriously though I was going to need her to bring the outfits up to the hospital later when they finished drying.
Time seemed to be going quickly and I was steadily having contractions 5 minutes apart but I needed to shave my legs and wanted to get in the shower for some pain relief. Jon was cool and was just like let me know when you want to go to the hospital and should I call the doula yet. Well at that moment the doula sounded like a great idea. Still debating if I had actual time to shower I vomited and felt completely gross, so yes I was for sure jumping into the shower. On the phone with the doula she is telling Jon to get me out of that shower and head to the hospital with my contractions already being 5 minutes apart and strong. I rush to finish the shower and dressed and got in the car. At this point I was in so much pain. The contractions were excruciating and I was not handling it well, so my mom drove and Jon sat in the backseat to help me deal. The drive felt slow, and I could feel every bump in the road. I noticed the time was about 5:30am which was about the time my doctor told me I would need to be at the hospital for inductions. I knew that when we arrived all the triage beds would be full of the day’s inductions and this baby felt like it was coming fast. I felt so much pressure. I asked Jon to call them and to let them know we were on our way and to save a bed for me. This triggered an “baby in the parking lot” response because when we pulled up they had a wheel chair and nurses coming outside. I thought wow you must have sounded panicked on the phone, or the were just being extra ready. They wheeled me to the elevator and we headed to Labor and Delivery.
In the triage area of L&D they started to place monitors to measure the baby’s heartbeat, contractions, and whatever else they do. They kept feeling my belly and it was highly uncomfortable and painful. I just wanted them to stop. They asked me questions like “When was the last time you felt the baby move.” Saying things like “That monitor was giving us trouble, try this one.” I told them I had just been seen that afternoon at the doctor’s office and I got busy hadn’t really payed attention, not sure when the last time I felt the baby move. At this point my baby is overdue and huge and they say babies don’t move too much at this stage because they are out of room anyway. They are still pushing on my belly trying to find the heartbeat (I feel like a cow being prodded with a branding iron.) and they call they doctor and I can hear him through the phone saying she was just in my office what do you mean you can’t find the heartbeat. I think to myself maybe I have a dumb nurse, a new nurse, any excuse for not knowing what they are doing. Next thing I know they tell me I am being moved to a room where they will do an ultrasound.
Now I have been carted off to day surgery and that is about it, but that morning this bed moved at a pace that made my hair move in the wind the speed created. That is when it hit me that something is really wrong. This is not normal.